Chapter 31

adam domin gusar da baqinciki bacin rai ko kuma damuwa bashi da wani tasiri a gareshi,baya haifarwa da bawa komai face sake sanyashi cikin damuwar,baya yaye damuwa ta har abada face ya sake sanyaka cikin wasu sabbin matsalolin,ya haifar maka da ciwuka masu kai d'an adam ga kushewa,Kana daukan cuta ne kana laftawa kanka,kana kashe kanka da kanka,Allah S W T da kansa yace kada ku kashe kawunanku,shan abun maye ba komai bane face kashe kai,don baka da maraba da mutumin daya dauki makami ya dabawa kansa,domin kuwa shaye shaye ba cutar da baya haifarwa,lalacewar qoda,lalacewar hanta,ciwon cancer,ciwon zuciya,yana nakasta hunhu,yana kuma lalata qwaqwalwa wanda hakan yake jagoranci zuwa ga haukacewa,dukka daya daga cikin wannan cututtuka idan aka bar mutum dasu sun isheshi azabar nan duniya,sun ishi mai hankali gujewa abun maye"ajiyar zuciya anty zubaida ta saki sannan ta dora "A duniyance shaye shaye bai haifar maka da komai sai zubewar qima da mutunci,mummunar dabi'a ce dako wanda yake yinta yake boyewa,kuma baiso a sani,dabi'ace dakan gusar da imani da hasken fuska,dabi'ace dake barin tabo cikin rayuwar wanda ya taba aikatata,sannan ba'a sanyaka cikin sahun managarta mutane ko mutane masu dattako har abada,saboda kowa kallon mahaukaci yake maka,sannan a addinance manzan rahama yace dukkan wani abu da zai saka maye haramunne,musulunci yafimu sanin cewa kayan maye abubuwane masu cutarwa ga lafiyarmu,shi kuma ko yaushe tattalin lafiyarmu yake,sannan addini ne dake kare mutunci da martabar dan adam,bambancin mutum da dabba hankali,kinsha abinda zai gusar da hankalin me sunanki kenan a wannan lokacin?,dalili kenan daya sanya aka haramta mana su,duk sanda kake cikin maye babu kunya tattare dakai,hakan na nufin ba alkhairi a tare dakai kenan,saboda ma'aiki ya gaya mana duk inda kaga kunya akwai alkhairi a wajen,sanda kuma babu kunya tare dakai zaka iya aikata dukkan komai ciki kuwa harda kisan kai!,tunda kike sha din damuwarki ta taba tafiya gaba daya?" Kai shahida ta girgaza,don da zarar ta farka dukkan wata damuwa take dawo mata sabuwa fil,harma tafi ta dazun "Zaki iya tuna sau nawa kikayi loosing sallah saboda tazo ta riskeki kina cikin bacci sanadin abinda kika sha?"shuru shahidan tayi tana tunani hawaye masu dumi nabin fuskarta har cikin kunnenta,kome take komai runtsi sallah bata taba wuceta ba sai a wannan karon,sai data shiga wannan mugunyar dabi'ar "Kina tunanin hujjace da zaki gayawa Allah ranar gobe qiyama na dalilin jinkirta sallahrki?" Ta jefo mata tambayar data sanya shahida fidda sabuwar qwalla,dana sani da nadama mara misaltuwa na sake shigarta,kaico da rayuwarta da haduwarta da fiddausi "Kina da yaqinin sanda kika farka kika ramata Allah zai amsa ya saka miki a mizanin ayyukanki wajen sallahrki na lokacin bazai tashi blank ba?,bayan kina baccin sabo ne bana ibada ba?" Sabon kuka shahidan ta sake saki,tsoron Allah na sake kamata,tana jin kaman yanzu Allah zai amshi rayuwarta,me ta tanada?,wacce amsa zata bayar?. "Allah yana karban tuban bayinsa ne matuqar ran bawa baizo gargara ba,sannan kuma rana bata fito daga mafadarta ba,bai halatta bawa ya jinkirta tuba kan wani aikin sabo da yake ba,yace har sai Allah ya shiryeshi,don haka yana daga cikin alamar 'yanwuta,kuma alamace dake nuna bawa ya tabe,sannan alamace ta toshewar basira,anaso koda yaushe bawa ya dinga gaggauta tuba saboda baisan randa ajalinsa zai riskeshi ba" "Astagfirullah...astagfirullah" shahida ta dinga maimaitawa a fili har na tsahon wani lokaci,sai data fuskanci ta samu nutsuwa sannnan ta dagota suna kallon juna "Shahida...maganar anwar....." wani abu mai ciwo taji ya tokareta,abinda yayi mata ya dinga yawo cikin idanunta kamar tariyar film,da sauri ta katsi antyn "Anty...don Allah ki daina kiramin sunanshi....don Allah anty ki dainamin maganarsa,yanzu bashi a gabana,yadda ya buqaci na barshi na barshi har abada...yadda ya nuna bai buqatata saboda wani kuskure dana aikata nima bana buqatarsa har abada" murmushi anty zubaida tayi tana karantar yanayinta da yadda maganar ke fita daga zuciyarta zuwa harshenta,kai ta girgiza tasan cewa wani bacin raine dake qonata tun daga cikin jiki zuwa zuciyarta,kowa ya shaida irin qauna da soyayya dake tsakanin shahida da anwar,koda baka sansu ba labarinsu ba shakka ya iskeka,bata da tabbaci ko yaqinin kan abunda shahidan ke furtawa saboda ta riga ta sani cewa soyayya ba qarya bace,ba qaramin dalili ne yake da qarfi da isar da zai karyata ba,karyawa ta har abada,karayar da ba zata doru ba "Duk wannan lafazin shahida ban buqatar jinsa daga bakinki,ba'a ciwa soyayya alwashi kuma ba'a cika mata baki....kiyi addu'a kawai a yanzun,ki tattara hankalinki waje guda,ki karbi qaddararki,kiyi moving forward,stop worrying about what u have to loose,and start focusing on what u have to gain,har yanzu yarinyace ke,shekarunki nawa?,me kika soma gani cikin rayuwa?,akwai abubuwa daya kamata ace kinyi achieving a rayuwarki,karki bari wani abu guda daya ya tsaidaki waje guda,ya ruguza dukkan wani kyakkyawan tanadi daya kamata kiwa rayuwarki,wannan abun daya faru ba komai bane cikin rayuwarki,daya daga cikin challanges kenan na rayuwa,ki godewa Allah kina da chance,kina da dama,kamar ya baki wata dama ne naci gaba da gina sabuwar duka rayuwar da kikaso kikaga dama,just choose tobe strong rather than letting it drown you" wadan nan sune ire iren kalaman da anty zubaida ta dinga amfani dasu tsahon shekara biyar don dawo da rayuwar shahida cikin nutsuwarta. Cikin qaramin lokaci taji anwar din ya wanke mata a rai tas,ya sire mata,ya fice mata daga ruhinta,taji zata iya rayuwa babu shi,taji abune mai sauqi hakan,saidai baizo mata da sauqi ba yadda ta tsammata,ta share darare da yawa bata samu bacci ba,ta ga wuninnika da darare masu tsaho da tsauri cikin rayuwarta a wannan lokaci,ta cika bangon dakinta da shafukan littafanta ta kalaman qarfafa kai da qarfafa gwiwa akaran kanta,ta siya littafi tayi rubutu mai tsaho da yawa kan rayuwarta har kawo bigiren da yau take kai,ta tattara duk wani abu da zai iya tuna mata da anwar ta ajesu waje daya,ta shiga tsara yadda rayuwarta zata kasance nan gaba,tun saga lokacin ko masoya ta gani sai taji tana tausayinsu,musamman mace idan taga ta zura jiki da yawa. Bayan umma ta fita takaba uncle hisham shi ya karbi ragamar daidaita musu duka al'amuran gidan,sannan suka yanke shawara dashi shahida zata koma hannun anty zubaidan,tunda har yanzu bata gama daidaita ba,saidai cikin kaso dari an samu sauyi na kaso shida,rabata da unguwar da duk wani tsohon memory dinta zai sake taimakawa wajen saita tunaninta,da wannan suka dauke shahidan ta koma wajensu. Makarantu daban daban anty zubaida ta sakata wanda zata qaru ta fanni da dama,wasu na koyon harshen larabci wani na koyon turanci bawai don bata iya ba,a'ah saidon ta maidata busy sosai wanda hakan zai sanya bata da lokacin zama ma ta tuna wani abu mara dadi daya faru da ita a baya,tayi hakanne kuma kafin wata shekarar ta zagayo su nema nata admission saboda wannan shekarar ta qwace mata. Rayuwarta ta soma samun sauye sauye,kullum kwanan duniya saitayi kukan dabi'ar shaye shaye data ta taba tsintar kanta a ciki,kullum sai tayi nadamar sanin fiddausi a rayuwarta,sai tayi nadamar sakin jiki ga duk qawar data kutso rayuwarki sama taka,abune mak wahala da idan ka sake ka jefa kanka da wuya ya fice daga rayuwarka salin alin ba tare daya haifar maka da nadama da danasani ba,bai kuma bar maka qatoton tabo ko baqin fenti a rayuwarka ba,ta godewa Allah da yayi gaggawar fiddata tun batayi