Episode Ten: I Don't Know

Har na karasa class ina tunanin mai wadannan kalaman suke nufi. Give me a chance: a chance to do what? A chance to prove what? A take naji kaina ya fara ciwo. Ina shiga class din mu naga teacher din mu zaune akan teacher's chair ya zabga uban tagumi da hannu bibbiyu sarcastically, na kalli 'yan ajin naga suma duk sunyi mimicking abinda yayi, bansan lokacin da dariya ta kubce min ba. Yana ganina ya mike taye tare da cewa "ahh she is finally back" nan na fahimci tagumin duk na jira na ne. Ya tambayeni ko na same shi? Sai na samu kaina dayi masa karya cewa ban ganshi ba amma na bawa a mr Victor to give to him, which is partly true. Ina zama ya sake tambayata "are u really Ok? You look pale and not as bright as the moon you are. Make sure you go to the clinic during your break " na amsa da yes sir. Da yake shi mutum ne mai barkwanci sai ya zamana kafin a fita break har na manta da duk wani abu da ya faru tsakanina da Ibrahim.

Har muka tashi ban kuma tunawa da maganar ba, sai da nazo ina hada books dina zamu tafi hostel sannan naga jotter dina da rubutun sa a front page, nayi saurin sakata a locker dina na rufe na jefa keys din a bag dina. Su Hafsat already dama suna jirana mu tafi. Tunda muka bar class Hafsat take min balbalin fada wai saina gaya mata me ya faru a class, nace mata i don't know amma taki rabuwa dani. Har muka chi abinci, mukayi sallah, nayi wanka na shirya zan fita library ta sha gabana tace babu inda zanje sai na tsaya nayi mata bayani. Ita Hafsat bata san cewa nafi ta son sanin mai ya faru din ba. Kuma duk tambayoyin ta bani da amsa din su sam sam. Nan dai na koma na zauna nayi folding hannaye na a cinyata nace mata " what do you want to know ?" Tace "menene tsakaninki da thin tall man?" nace "nothing more than what is between you and him" " amma menene yasa dazu yake kallonki har ina tayi masa magana bai ji ba? Kuma ya akayi yasan sunan ki bayan bai tambayemu sunayen mu ba? "OK nace mata ina daga mata hannu alamar ya isa haka, sannan na bata labarin encounter din mu a library, na kara da cewa "ina tunanin anan yasan sunana, apart from that, babu wani abu a tsakanin mu." Tayi frowning face dinta alamar tunani sannan ta girgiza kanta tace " OK na yarda dake, for now, i just don't want him looking at you like that" nayi murmushi na ce "my dear sister, ke fa kika taba cemin i can do what ever i want, babu uwanki" ta mike tsaye tana kallona tace " i am your sister, and i don't want any relationship between you and him" ta fada with finality.

A ranar da magrib muna zaune a daki na saka Hafsat a gaba da tsokana akan wani neighbor din yazo takanas saboda ya ga Hafsat amma tace ace masa ba zata zo ba. Ina ta tsokanarta tayi min banza sai ga Amira tazo, anan take sanar damu cewa senior master yayi approving night islamic class din mu, zamu fara yau da daddare dan haka mu shirya. Za'a keyi bayan sallar isha'i zuwa 9pm. Sannan ta kalleni da tsokana tace "saura ki sake tsuye mana malami" nayi dariya nace "not a chance, we have made our peace, yanzu ma a matsayin friends muke" Amira tace "so i noticed, friendship dinne ya kawo kallon dazu ko?" Na bata raina nace "don't start there, kema kinsan in da akwai wani abu you will be the first to know " tace "to Allah yasa, Just be careful my dear friend"
Amira ta bawa Hafsat shekara daya, ni kuma ta bani biyu. Kuma duk ta fimu hankali da nutsuwa. Tun ganin ta na farko da mommy tayi, tayi approving friendship din mu har ya zamanto ita da maman Amira sun fara kawance. Amira black beauty ce, bahaushiya ce usul, gentle ce kuma komai nata tanayinsa a tsare.
Alokacin da mukaje islamiyya ne nasha mamakin jin irin karatun Ibrahim. Ban taba jin kira'ar da ta yimin dadi irin tasa ba. Cikin sassanyar muryarsa yake kwararo mana karatu wanda nake jin shigarsa tun daga kunnuwana har 'yan yatsun kafata, naso ace ya cigaba da karatun forever. Yana zuwa inda yake son tsayawa sai ya tsaya. Inajin wata a class din tana furta "masha Allah". Nima masha Allah din na furta amma a zuciya ta, saboda wannan ba karamar baiwa bace ba daga Allah. Muka biya tare dashi sannan muka fara biya wa kow individually. Ga mamakina da akazo kaina bai nuna wani cewa ya sanni ba koya kira sunana ba. Da aka tashi shi ya fara fita sannan muka hada littattafan mu muka fito. Ni na fara fita a students saboda baccin da nake ji, na saba da baccin wuri. Ina tsaye a bakin kofa ina jiran su Hafsat ina ta faman zabga hamma naji scent din sa a gurin, na juyo amma banga kowa ba duk da jikina ya bani ana kallona. Gyaran murya naji yayi, nayi sauri na kalli side din da sound din ya fito anan naga silhouette n sa a jikin katanga. Gurin da duhu bana ganin fuskarsa amma na gane shine, ya rungume hannayensa a kirjinsa. Na juya kamar zan koma ajin sai yace "are you afraid of me? Do u think i might steal you? " Na juyo ina kallon gurin da yake amma ban ce komai ba har ya sake cewa " i just want to say good night to you. I will see you tomorrow morning " ya juya da niyyar tafiya, nayi sauri nace "Why? " ya dakata da tafiyar da yake yi ya juyo yana kallona, har yanzu amma yana cikin duhun bai fito cikin haske ba. Yace "why what? " "why do u feel the need to stay in the shadows, get me alone and say goodnight to me?" Nayi maganar da dan karfi fiye da yadda nayi niyya. A hankali yace min "your friend is here " nayi sauri na juya sai naga Amira a tsaye a verandah class din mu tana kallona da mamaki a fuskarta tace "moon ke da wa kike fada cikin daren nan" na juya na kalli inda yake, babu shi babu alamar sa, ya gudu. Idan har da gaske friendship yake nema mai yasa zai tsaya a cikin duhu yayi min magana, ya fito cikin haske mana kowa ya ganshi or better still yayi min magana mana a class a gaban kowa.
Muka kama hanyar hostel raina a bace. This guy is trying to play a game with me and i will teach him a lesson. To add peppe to my wound, muna cikin tafiya mukaji wadansu 'yan ss3 suna hira a gaban mu. Hafsat da son gulma ta rike hannayen mu muke binsu a baya muna jin hirar su. "Gaskiya gayen nan ya hadu" "kema kin gani ashe? Ga kyau ga nutsuwa ga kamala, ga kuma ilmin addini dana boko" "ni muryarsa tafi komai burgeni, kuma daga ganinsa gentleman ne, komai nasa a nutse yake yi" "ke kinga idanunsa kuwa? Wayyo raina. Ai da naje biya karatu wani kallo da yayi min sai naji na manta a wacce surar muke gaba daya" suka kwashe da dariya suka tafa. "To ko dai ya yaba ne? In kuwa hakane mukam sai dai muce sambarka"
I heard enough, na cire hannuna a cikin na Hafsat nakara sauri na wuce su. Ina zuwa daki na cire kayana na shiga wanka. Sai da na fito naga Hafsat ta zage tana bawa su Abigail labarin abinda ya faru suna ta dariya. Wai ashe har plan suka shirya na yadda zasuyi masa magana akan yake yi musu extra lessons ta yadda zasu ja hankalin sa. Ina fitowa Hafsat ta nemi tayi involving dina a conversation din amma naki magana. Nayi adduoi na na kwanta. Bazan iya fasalta me nakeji a raina ba danni kaina bansan menene ba.
Washegari Thursday sam bamu hadu da Ibrahim ba tunda bamu da class dashi kuma ranar babu islamiyya. Ranar Friday na ganshi a assembly hall amma ban yarda mun hada ido ba. Ya saka complete NYSC kakin sa, ina kallonsa naji gabana ya fadi nayi saurin dauke kaina. Ranar ma bamu da class dinsa kuma still babu islamiyya. Muna cikin class da teacher din mu na chemistry sai kawai ga Ibrahim nan ya shigo kamar an jeho shi. Suka gaisa da malamin sannan yace "i want to see one of your students please" teacher din yace masa ba damuwa, but make it quick. Tunda naji yace yana son ganin wata nasan nice, ai kuwa ina dago kaina ya kalleni tare da nodding, ya fita. Bani da option dole na bi bayansa. A kasan wata bishiya ya tsaya nima na karasa kusa dashi na tsaya. Ban gaishe shi ba. Ya jima baiyi magana ba. He seems uncomfortable and out of words. Adam's apple dinsa ya motsa amma still ya kasa magana. "Why am i here? " na tambayeshi tare da katse shirun. "I don't know " yace yana shafa gashin kansa "OK, look, you asked why I stayed to say goodnight to you that day, and today you asked why I wanted to see you, the answer to both questions is I don't know. I don't seem to know anything anymore" na saki baki kawai ina kallonsa. Ya lura da irin kallon da nake masa sai ya hadiye wani mugun yawu yace "I am sorry, I must have sound like an idiot" "nayi sauri nace masa "no, you didn't sound like an idiot but rather compused" " yes i am compused, i have never been this compused in my entire life. Please tell me" ya sunkuyo da kansa dai dai fuskata yana kallon kwayar idona "what should I do? "Na kalli cikin idonsa nima, abinda na gani ne yasaka nayi saurin dauke kaina tare da cewa "i don't know "