Episode Sixteen : The Letter

Har na karasa dakin mu ina tunanin maganganun Amira. Tabbas duk abinda ta fada gaskiyane. I know my biology and I know I am in adolescent stage. But am I really attracted to Ibrahim? It is not as if we are in love or anything amma kuma do i even know what love is? Am I ready for this? Har na kwanta ina ta lissafi a raina. Soyayya da Ibrahim ba abu ne me yiwuwa ba. Wata tafiya ce mai tsaho. Family na, family n shi, everyone will be against us. Hatta Hafsat ta saurara masa ne yanzu saboda nace mata ba soyayya tsakani na dashi. But i know what I am feeling. Ba zance ina son shi ba saboda ban san menene son ba. Amma nasan ina son kasancewa tare dashi, yana sani dariya, kuma duk sanda bana tare dashi inajin kamar ina missing wani abu. Is this love 💟? Ni na san ba zan iya yiwa Hafsat wannan tambayar ba in ba so nake in tsokano tsuliyar dodo ba. Tambayar da nake yiwa kaina itace: if abinda nake ji shine love din, am I willing to take the chance for him? And more important, is he willing to take the chance for me?
Tun daga lokacin sai na samu kaina da yin baya baya da Ibrahim. Bana barin mu hada ido dashi sam, in ya taho zai rako ni kuma nakan jawo Amira mu tafi tare, ita ma kuma Amiran ba ta ki saboda ta fahimci maganar da tayi min rannan ne ta saka nake gyarawa. Kullum in muna tafiya kuma maganar mu bata wuce ta karatu ko labari gida.
Muna haka har muka fara exams komai ya koma serious, Amira ma tayi joining karatun mu, kullum tare muke karatu mu uku shi kuma Ibrahim in mun gama sai ya dunga yi mana questions muna amsawa. Ana gobe zamu yi hutu mun fito daga Exam sai Ibrahim yayi kirana, muka tafi ni da Amira. Muna zuwa muka tarar dashi yana waya gida da yarabanci. Amira da sunkuyo dai dai kunnena tana dariya, kawai sai na samu kaina da jin haushin ta. Sai da ya gama wayar sannan ya kallemu yace "so u guys are going home tomorrow, right?" Amira tace "yessir" yayi dariya yace "oh su Amira harda saurin amsawa ko? Wato kin gaji da ganin mu ko? Dadinta dai muma gidan zamu tafi muma mu huta" sai a sannan nayi magana nace "are u going home also" ya kalleni da seriousness yace "yes, i am going tomorrow, there is nothing for me to do here in kun tafi" na hadiye wani kululu da ya tsaya min a wuya na nace a hankali "ok". Mukayi shiru for sometimes sannan yace "i will see you guys tomorrow before you go" Amira ce kawai ta bashi amsa da ok
sir. Daganan muka tafi hostel. Duk jikina a sanyaye nake shirin tafiya, tamkar wacce ta tashi daga jinya haka nake ji na. Washegari tun a assembly ground nake ware ido ko zan ganshi amma babu shi babu alamarsa. Gashi wannan abun da ya tsaya min a makogwaro na har yanzu yaki wucewa. Wajen karfe goma aka bude get motoci suka fara shigowa. Hafsat sai ware ido take tana neman motar gidan mu ni kuwa adduah nake yi a raina kar suzo yanzu sai na ganshi. Muna cikin haka na hango motar mu tana shigowa, na lura Hafsat bata ganta ba sai nayi sauri nace mata "Hafsat zan danje toilet kafin azo daukan mu" batare data kalli inda nake ba tace "ok" na juya da sauri nayi hanyar classes ina ta waige waigen ko zan ganshi, har naje get din hostel ban banshi ba, kuma na tarar har an rufe get din dan haka na juyo, hawaye naji mai zafi yana tahowa daga kirjina amma naki na barshi ya karaso idona saboda kar a gani a tambayeni dalilinsa. Ina tafiya kaina a kasa naji an kama hannuna an jani da sauri cikin wani class, da sauri na kwace hannuna ina neman hanyar gudu sannan naji wannan mayataccen kamshin nasa ya ziyarci hancina, na juyo da sauri muka hada ido. Ya saka complete kaki na NYSC a jikin sa, p-cap din ya juya ta tana kallon bayansa, da wata katuwar school bag a goye a bayansa. Fuskarsa babu murmushi. Mun jima muna kallon juna sannan nace"i thought ka tafi" ya hadiye yawu adams apple dinsa ya motsa sannan yace "I am sorry, an kira mu meeting ne tun safe, i was really pissed na dauka bazan same ki ba" naji dadin maganarsa har cikin raina, take naji wannan kululun da ya tsaya min a wuya ya narke yana tafiya. Nayi murmushi nima nace "I was afraid ka tafi without saying goodbye" ya matso gaf dani yanda har muna iya jin lumfashin juna, sa saka hannayensa biyu ya ruko fuskata idonsa cikin nawa yace "I will never" a can kasan zuciya ta nake jin tana min warning cewa in kwace fuskata daga hannunsa in matsa daga kusa dashi amma jikina yaki yayi responding, na kasa koda dauke ido daga cikin nasa ballantana in matsa. A hankali ya sauke idonsa daga ido na zuwa kan lips dina sannan ya fara sauko da fuskarsa zuwa ta wa. I was screaming at myself from the inside, nasan what he was about to do, nasan kuma it is wrong but I failed to stop him. Kamar wanda akayi wa shocking sai kuma yayi baya da sauri sannan ya juwa min baya yana furta "A'uzubillahi minash shaidanir rajim" sannan ba tare da ya kalleni ba yace "go maimunatu, just go" sai a sannan naji jikina da dawo dai dai, da sauri na bude kofar class din na futa jikina yana ta rawa. Ina fita na hango Hafsat tana tahowa daga hanyar hostel, daga dukkan alama ni take nema, gurinta na tafi da sauri ina kiran ta. A tare muka karasa gurin motar mu Ya Walid yana ta fada wai na bata masa lokaci, ni kuwa hankali na har lokacin bai gama dawowa jikina ba. Muna shiga mota sai ga Amira da sauri tana tsayar damu. Muna tsayawa ta bani wani littafi wai inji Ibrahim. Wani novel dinsa ne Sands of time. Abin mamakin shine ni ban ce masa ina so ba, asali ma ni ba ma'abociyar karatun novel bace. Na karba na saka a hand bag dina muka yi sallama da amira muka tafi.
Kafin muje gida har na ware, Ya Walid yana gaya mana su Inna sun zo tare da Amina (wata cousin din mu sa'a ta a 'yalleman) dan haka muna zuwa gida da murnar mu muka tafi gurin mommy, daddy baya kasar a lokacin, muka tarar an shirya mana abinciccika iri iri, nan muka hadu gaba daya a falon su inna har daada muna cin abinci muna hirar yaushe gamo, Ya Walid yayi tayi mana hotuna saboda washegari zai tafi England hutun sa ya kare. Gaskiya ba abinda yafi Family dadi. Kowa yabar gida gida ya barshi. Har dare muna tare ana ta hira, ga mamakina Hafsat bata yi zancen Ibrahim ba. Sai mommy ce ma tace " Hafsat kina zuwa extra lessons din kuwa?" Hafsat tace "Eh, mommy ina zuwa" mommy tace "good, saboda bana son Moon take zama ita kadai tare da wannan malamin naku, kuma bana son in hana ta saboda naga tana benefitting" sai a sannan na gane manufar mommy ta hada mu da Hafsat, lallai ance abinda babba ya hango yaro ko ya hau dutsen dala ba zai hango ba.
Sai da dare yayi sannan muka koma part din mu. Na hada ruwan wanka na shiga tub sannan na fara lissafa abubuwan da suka faru. Tabbas maganar da Amira ta gayamin gaskiya ce. Shaidan yana iya shiga tsakanin 'yan uwa ciki daya ma ballan tana mu. Kuma tabbas I am attracted to Ibrahim kamar yadda ta fada, tunda gashi dazu ya kusa kissing dina kuma ban hana shi ba. I am weak. Zuciya ta is too soft. Ko zan cigaba da alaka da Ibrahim sai na dage sosai. Daganan na tuna da littafinsa a cikin hand bag dina. Bayan na fito daga wanka da shirya cikin riga da wando na bacci sai na dauko littafin na kwanta ina dubawa kawai sai naga takarda ta fado. Ina dauka naji kanshin turarensa a jiki, na bude naga rubutun sa kamar haka.
MAIMUNATU
I CAN NO LONGER STOP MYSELF FROM SAYING THIS, BELIEVE ME I TRIED. MAIMUNATU I LOVE YOU. I NEVER KNOW WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE BUT I AM 100% SURE THAT THIS IS IT.
I AM NOT SURE IF YOU FEEL ABOUT ME AS I FEEL ABOUT YOU. PLEASE MAIMUNATU, IF MY ANSWER IS NO, CALL THE NUMBER AT THE END OF THIS LETTER JUST SAY NO, THEN I WILL ASK FOR TRANSFER BEFORE YOU RESUME. I CAN'T KEEP SEEING YOU KNOWING YOU WON'T BE MINE.
YOURS IN LOVE
IBRAHIM

An zo gurin, will Moon say yes knowing the consequences or will she say no knowing she will never see him again?